I recently heard a question where I was asked why I decided to name my blog Black Mom Chronicles. I have never experienced this before, so this caught me by surprise. Why Black Mom Chronicles? My response? I am black and I am a mom, so it only made sense”
Then I remembered that we live in a complicated and sensitive country where my confidence in my own skin can make other people uncomfortable. I work with a lot of clients in corporate South Africa (SA). I have come to learn that being black and proud can somewhat make people uncomfortable.
Our nappy hair is deemed unprofessional.
We are a bit too loud.
A tad too theatrical.
A little too “out there”.
A close friend of mine was told she is an activist because of how she expressed her passion for black history, black culture and social issues faced by black people. She lost out on an amazing opportunity because they thought she would not fit into the environment because of her ‘activism’.
Our country is one of the most diverse in the world, and we need to embrace our diversity and not shy away from it.
I have a dream. I dream of a world where my children do not have to feel uncomfortable to express parts of themselves that makes them different from others. This is a world where cultural differences are embraced instead of frowned upon. A world where we can have comfortable conversations about our cultural differences without fear of persecution or judgment.
I am not naive. As much as I believe and acknowledge that there are so many similarities in parenting between cultures, I also know that there is a lot that sets us apart.
Discipline for instance. We think the ‘go to your room” tactic does not work for us. My mother and my sister never spanked me but they had a look. Yea, you know that death stare that says ‘stop embarrassing me right now’. I was raised with that look, and I turned out pretty okay. And those are the cultural dynamics that set us apart, and that is okay.
If my daughter did not sleep the whole night, her grandparents would probably say she was picking up some bad spirits in the yard during the night. A white family would advise the parents that the baby was probably gassy.
Even conversations about fatherlessness would go very differently if we had to consider cultural dynamics.
This is why I chose ‘Black Mom Chronicles’. I want to have more conversations about how it is like to be a black mom in modern day SA.
I am unapologetically black and also want to teach my kids the same. That it is okay to be different because there is unity in diversity. I want them to read a lot more culturally diverse books.
Parenting is a beautifully stressful journey and we should be okay with having the difficult to have conversations because, at the end of the day, there is a lot we can learn from each other.
Here is to writing and sharing more content that truly speaks to why I started this blog in the first place.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me 🙂