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An open letter to dad

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Dear Daddy,

I am not sure if I tell you often enough, but you are a blessing. If I don’t, I don’t do it on purpose. I just get consumed with transitioning well and finding the balance between being Karabo and being Mommy. What makes you a blessing? You looked into my eyes when there was nothing there but fear and promised me you will be there every step of the way. You guaranteed me that we could do this together. You even struggled to get a wink of sleep the day I told you we were with child because of your anticipation and nerves masked in excitement.

You were really there, and even gained the pregnancy weight on my behalf lol. Whenever people asked why you put on some weight, your response was “we are pregnant”. Emphasis on ‘we’. So minuscule yet so powerful. Your use of the term “we” reinforced your promise, a promise you’ve kept till this day. I still feel like you got off easy though. I didn’t send you to McDonalds in the middle of the night to buy me a strawberry sundae. I spoiled you but you spoiled me. You cleaned, did the laundry, cooked our dinner, rubbed my back, massaged my feet and loved me.

You awkwardly rubbed my arm during labour, as we would later see in our birth video. I don’t even think you knew what you were doing. Hell, I didn’t know what I was doing. I remember shouting at you coz’ you were rubbing my tummy during my contraction. I shouted: “The back, not the tummy”! You awkwardly walked away, and I felt really bad the next day when I was told of the crazy the things I was doing and saying. During labour you looked like you wanted to take the pain away. You kept chanting “breathe, you got this, you’re almost there, you’re doing good”. It was encouraging, and It worked.

We are now almost 4 months postpartum and I am still cashing in on your promise, without request. You are what we call a “hands-on-dad”, the best kind of dad. You loved every moment of skin-to-skin after her birth. You changed the meconium diaper and you did it so well, although putting baby bum cream on your entire palm was not a good idea- haha. You love bathing her and that makes me love you more.

You are the kind of black dad the media does not really speak about. We always hear about the dead-beat dad; the abusive black dad the absent black dad; the unsupportive black dad and the rolling stone. I had one of those. And I’ve prayed that my children don’t get one of those. God came through.

Listen, you are doing an amazing job. We are both not perfect. Remember, we are both new to this, so we will make mistakes. We live, and we learn- do not doubt that for a second. You’ve got it together, sometimes better than me. Your level of hard work and ambition has grown exponentially (I am not exaggerating). You promised us a happy and comfortable life. Please know that we are happy and comfortable, as long as we are with you. You’ve coined a new phrase: “I love yous”. Yous loves you too.

I thank God for the man that you are and the father you are becoming.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me 🙂

6 Comments

  1. ratedpg05 says:

    Great words of encouragement for the great black man! I love it! Keep encouraging real fathers who are doing it!

  2. […] In essence, a newborn baby just eats and sleeps (adult goals hahaha). The reason my schedule starts at night is because her night was day. Babies cannot make that distinction. Several moms advised me to “sleep when she does”, but this is impractical. It’s a lie! I am yet to meet a mom that was actually able to sleep between 9am and 6pm. I tried doing it and it never worked. It was either too hot to sleep or I needed to fulfill adult duties. Duties such as eating, cooking, cleaning, doing the baby’s washing or any other adult chores. I was lucky because her dad helped with some of these, like cooking and cleaning. He has been a superstar; I even wrote him a letter- An open letter to dad. […]

  3. Beautiful.. sounds like ‘yous’ are one lucky pair.

  4. shizzy911 says:

    Dad appreciates this a lot. I love yous very much 🙂